I wish I were brave enough to tell you how you make my heart skip a beat, and how your smile has me catching my breath. If I were brave enough I would tell you that I wait everyday for a chance to see you, just to say hello, just to see your face. I would make sure you know how my heart leaps into my throat when I catch your eye across the room, and I’d tell you that you give me butterflies, though I have no idea why. But I wouldn’t tell you that I love you, because I wouldn’t tell you a lie. You see, love is a choice, and I haven’t made up my mind.
if I hear one more dead-eyed hipster
tell me that art is dead, I will personally summon Shakespeare
from the grave so he can tell them every reason
why he wishes he were born in a time where
he could have a damn Gmail account.
The day after I taught my mother
how to send pictures over Iphone she texted
me a blurry image of our cocker spaniel ten times in a row.
Don’t you dare try to tell me that that is not beautiful.
But whatever, go ahead and choose to stay in
your backwards-hoping-all-inclusive club
while the rest of us fall in love over Skype.
Send angry letters to state representatives,
as we record the years first sunrise so
we can remember what beginning feels like when
we are inches away from the trigger.
Lock yourself away in your Antoinette castle
while eat cake and tweet to the whole universe that we did.
Hashtag you’re a pretentious ass hole.
Van Gogh would have taken 20 selflies a day.
Sylvia Plath would have texted her lovers
nothing but heart eyed emojis when she ran out of words.
Andy Warhol would have had the worlds weirdest Vine account,
and we all would have checked it every morning while we
Snap Chat our coffee orders to the people
we wish were pressed against our lips instead of lattes.
This life is spilling over with 85 year olds
rewatching JFK’s assassination and
7 year olds teaching themselves guitar over Youtube videos.
Never again do I have to be afraid of forgetting
what my fathers voice sounds like.
No longer must we sneak into our families phonebook
to look up an eating disorder hotline for our best friend.
No more must I wonder what people in Australia sound like
or how grasshoppers procreate.
I will gleefully continue to take pictures of tulips
in public parks on my cellphone
and you will continue to scoff and that is okay.
But I hope, I pray, that one day you will realize how blessed
you are to be alive in a moment where you can google search
how to say I love you in 164 different languages."
I’m hopelessly lost in my daydreams today.. like mountain tops in rainy weather, my head is in the clouds..
I want so badly to isolate myself from people. To distance myself from social interactions. But at the same time I don’t. I really don’t.
Driving to university this morning was most eventful.
1. Trying to gear into fourth I somehow found second - the car didn’t like that.
2. Handbrake pull away fail = almost rolling into the car behind you, also not a good idea.
3. My dad who was the driver in the car with me had low blood sugar and was shaking uncontrollably. That’s scary even if you’re not driving.
And 4. For future reference, now is not the time to start hyperventilating.
I really hate being an introvert because I sometimes think “oh hey, I can totally hang out with a bunch of people right now! I can handle it! I hate being alone!!” and then three hours into hanging out I realize how draining of energy it is for me to be around other people and I just want to curl up into a ball and isolate myself for the rest of my life.